Hungry for Leslie Bovee? Have CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST!

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Finally… freed from the chains of a Vinegar Syndrome drought, TOMB IT MAY CONCERN is back and ready to rumble through some vintage porn for your perusal!  First up is the release of CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST, and when I see that VS puts out a single disc dedicated to a film I assume it is something very worthwhile. This one sure is.  This film has laughs, hot women and men and a goofy sense of style that feels like a Hollywood farce of days gone by.  Champagne (Leslie Bovee) is one women headed to the top of the advertising world, but her sex life may be active, but her choice of men is the pits.  Be it paying for an all dicks on deck pounding or picking up a random “beer kinda guy” that has a name for his schlong and no manners at all when athletic sex goes awry, what could she do?  Enter our man, Harry.  John Leslie is in top form throughout, be it getting his schlong long when the time is right or cracking the audience up as Harry’s weird sense of morality shines through. Watch for one of the absolute best mid blowjob “come on down”s EVER early on. So, Harry is screwed both literally and figuratively because he needs work while his brother in law fucks him over on some investments.  Problem is…his blue balls problem seems to always end him up working on his thrusts over working on getting his paychecks.  Enter, Champagne and Harry’s plan to pretend to be gay to get a job as her bodyguard. Her VERY close bodyguard.

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Hilarity ensues as the odd couple talk about life, and Harry paints a picture of his life as a gay boxer in the Navy, where massages were commonplace.  He protects his employer from herself on occasion, sure, but his constant attempts to avert his eyes from Leslie Bovee are really entertaining to watch. Never mind when Champagne rewards him with a nice gentleman that announces…”All night, my cock is yours!”

OH SHIT!

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The film is really funny, and Bovee is always a pleasure to watch because she has that classic beauty AND she really puts her all into making Champagne likeable and enthusiastic.  Her cracking up as a horny construction worker holds her upside down and pours a beer in her butt was just making me smile the entire time.  A porn film that rarely feels dirty, it’s good fun for all.

The DVD contains two trailers for the porn edition and a soft edit, and you can watch some of the sequences used to pad out the soft version as well.  I can’t say they did much for me, but it’s interesting to catch a gander of how they buffed up the running time while deleting the penetration shots as it usually is.  Directed by Chris Warfield (be sure and check out SEX WORLD on Blu Ray as well) and written by GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE’s John Hayes (who has been under the VS microscope already if you read my review of BABY ROSEMARY right here).  It’s just plain porn with a smile, and bubbly as champagne.  Even though I’m a beer man myself, I can’t resist a good naughty comedy!

Top 10 Viewings of 2014- Rage Brains and Mecha Sharks!!

I am NO GOOD at making lists of movies of the year. Why? Because I think I may have seen maybe, MAYBE, 4 horror films released this year.  And that is the bulk of my new film viewings.  I’m a fuddy duddy, still trying to catch up with the bazillion things that interest me. So, when Dan Taylor of Exploitation Retrospect and I put together the latest CINESLUDGE – A MANGLED MEDIA PODCAST we opted to go for the top films we watched this year. NO RESTRICTIONS!  The episode is up for download via iTunes or you can listen right here.  But lets get VISUAL!

http://www.podbean.com/media/player/audio/postId/5411392/url/http%253A%252F%252Fcinesludge.podbean.com%252Fe%252Fcinesludge-episode-7-top-o-the-sludge-edition-with-fred-olen-ray-strippers-and-santa-a-go-go-1418647851%252F/initByJs/1/auto/1?skin=107 10. CRYSTAL LAKE MEMORIES

This documentary is HUGE and as in depth as you could want.  I read every book on the films, since I pretty much hold Jason as close as most classic monster fans do DRACULA!  Tons of interviews and a spectacular presentation make it fun to watch AND listen to.  A must. The NEVER SLEEP AGAIN on Freddy is equally excellent, but I’m a Jason kid.

9. FEAST 2 – SLOPPY SECONDS

I picked up the three pack, having NO CLUE about how the sequels would be and I thought FEAST was OK. Well, once John Gulager got the money cuffs off, took less to work with and CRUSHED one mega movie about monster donged beasts, midget wrestlers, disintegrating grammas and gore gore gore, it’s beyond fun.  Tit Girl and Tat Girl!  The entire trilogy will run you ten bucks, get it.

8. MEGA SHARK VS. MECHA SHARK

I watched 50 Asylum movies in 30 days.  THIS was a real favorite as it plays with the monster premise AND has Debbie Gibson chatting about a horny Mega Shark. And Mecha Shark gets the Mecha Godzilla treatment perfectly, defeat, drama, action, MECHANIZED MAYHEM. Pure enjoyment as only an Asylum film can provide!

7.  HELLINGER

Max Cerchi brought the most bizarre things to this microbudget terror film!  It’s kind of incomprehensible (and it was shot over a long period of time), features Kendall Ransom, the badass with a full body tattoo that leaves his ass crack untouched and a face smashing finale I’ll never forget! One day I’ll have a TALK LIKE HELLINGER holiday and my children will be very amused. Or frightened.  That is the thing about Hellinger, it works because it’s just so damn odd!

6. SEX HUNTER 1980

From the director of the infamous EVIL DEAD TRAP, Toshiharu Ikeda, comes a sex film that blends Suspiria with exploding coca cola enemas with style and sleaze.  UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE.  On the podcast I discuss my new found interest in Nikkatsu films, which I’m devouring this year!  Why didn’t I see them before? How did they defy expectation and become so damn vital to my cinematic journey?  Listen for more.  But if you love bizarre cult films and are ready to try something different, this could be your gateway to nirvana, or a very very dark hell.

5. HARD BOUNTY

 I’ve watched a LOT of Jim Wynorski films this year, after stretching beyond one of my favorite all around films, HARD TO DIE, this one was covered on Cinesludge. It mixes genres, beautiful women, and Matt McCoy as the embodiment of the LONGARM novels into one super entertaining mix.  Wynorski can do anything really, but I never expected to hear, “are you the one they call HOLY GHOST!”  This needs a BluRay!

4. WINTER HEAT

It was a year when I probably could have made a VINEGAR SYNDROME top 10 films of my year, but… this one really stood out. Jamie Gillis is a fascinating figure in porn history, and this roughie that wasn’t nearly as rough as I’d feared, is a nifty rip of Last House On The Left with some very bizarre porn scenes and a finale that made me shake my head about 10 times. It’s great and another film that bridges a gap from cult film to the current re-releases of adult features from the 70s and 80s.  That ending…hah!

3. THE NAKED CAGE

Sitting within a Shout Factory 4 pack of Cult Films, I had never seen this Golan Globus 80s W.I.P. film with the evil Smiley The Guard, The Lesbian Lust Chamber Warden, A good girl wronged going on a rampage and so much more.  80s. Opens with Fabulous Thunderbirds. Nudity. Profanity. Lesbian Lust Chambers.  Oh yeah, that is the stuff of Cinesludge!

2. BILLY CLUB

This one gets a lot of coverage on  the Cinesludge SLASHERS episode (here!) and is a handcrafted “throwback” slasher film that doesn’t just pay tribute to the genre, but picks up the very best parts of it and carries it high above it’s head…and then cracks you with it!!  I loved the film and you can find it on Amazon for under 10 dollars RIGHT NOW! Do it!

And finally…#1!!!
1. POSSESSED BY THE NIGHT

NEVER have I been so struck by a movie about a a legbreaker that stumbles over a jar containing an RageVortexEyeHavingBrainEmbryo and sets off rough sex, Bowflex sex, conversations about sex, conversations about violence, rampaging nudity, rampaging kung fu with nothing but a pizza pan (?) and did I mention SHANNON TWEED ON A BOWFLEX???  Ted Prior? Legend. Sandahl Bergman? Legend (listen to the podcast to learn about my exercise routine with her!) And holy sheep shit, it’s got Henry Silva saying “I LOVE BIMBOS!!!”
I’ve seen the “big” films from Fred Olen Ray, but this has sent me on a spree that will dominate my 2015. And not just Fred Olen Ray films, but the 90s sexploitation scene is now a full blown playground of cinematic excess. BY FAR my favorite new film of the year in the DZ canon.

And there you have it…  You can hear these discussed in much more depth (as well as reviews of two new Fred Olen Ray films, AFTER MIDNIGHT and CHRISTMAS IN PALM SPRINGS) by checking it out in the player above!  Happy viewing…and I can’t wait to get to 2015!

 
 

Halloween Horrors 5-6 The RAW FORCE of HARD TO DIE

A Saturday night in October demands a double feature, and why not go for some more ACTION oriented horror to keep things lively?  First up was the newly released RAW FORCE BluRay from Vinegar Syndrome!  Now, I absolutely LOVE this film, and if you haven’t seen it, you must. If you have, get ready for an amazing presentation of this insane film!

RAW FORCE is the kind of film you think you are dreaming of seeing WHILE you are watching it.  After a dude that looks like Hitler sells some women to a bunch of monks (VIC DIAZ!!!) on an island of disgraced martial artists for food and fodder for ritual sacrifice to kung fu demonites, a pleasure cruise goes awry as they are hijacked for their women by the same bunch of baddies.  But thankfully their are KUNG FU ENABLED PASSENGERS ready to kick some ass, battle full contact zombies and bring it to the weird monks of DOOOOOOM. 

Simple, right? Well, it’s the way that RAW FORCE gets to the finish line that will make you sit in pure exploitation cinema AWE of it’s most heavenly glory!  From the start it’s just strangeness galore as EVERY bit of trash cinema gets riffed on.  While the zombies and monks and general kung fu smack and crack is great, and there is a super sized side of beautiful racks (wow…wait, that is CAMILLE KEATON??) — I learned something interesting this time around.  It’s the zany party sequences that make up the second act of the film that I just love.  Lots of film bring the fighty fight, but the mix of comedy and just plain cheapO sets and crackingly funny dialog make RAW FORCE shine.  How can you not love Cameron Mitchell as he grumps his way through the film?  Sure, Hitler guy runs around with a rocket launcher, but compared to Jillian Kesner (FIRECRACKER!!!) surprising everyone with her deadly kung fu skill, it’s just another day in RAW FORCEVILLE. Look I can beat, flog and dump Hai Karate all over this film for you, but why? YOU NEED IT IN YOUR LIFE.  About half way through I realized I had been smiling the entire time it was on.  NUFF SAID.  And this…

                                Oh, and CAMILLE KEATON???  How did I never know this?

But the double feature can’t stop.  The BluRay looks astonishing and contains an interview with finishing editor (audio only) Jim Wynorski.  I’ve got a phrase that applies to all things cinematic. ENTERTAINMENT, THY NAME IS WYNORSKI!  So, inspired by the RAWNESS of the FORCE I went to a film I’ve watched quite a few times, and was ready to dig into once more.  The ultimate in HOT LADIES IN LINGERIE BATTLE THE UNDEAD EVIL THAT ESCAPED A SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE (2) AND A HEROIC AND UNDER APPRECIATED JANITOR SHALL SAVE THEM ALL films. 
THIS. IS.
HARD TO DIE!!!!!!

HARD TO DIE is a very weird remix / remaster / sequel / spin off / bottomless shower sequence tribute to SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 2.  The evil of SHM2’s HOCKSTETTER is mistakenly delivered to ACME LINGERIE, where 5 beautiful ladies are ready to take inventory…and showers…and try on the wares.  They could NEVER have expected to battle evil, never mind evil that was intended to go to FORRY ACKERMAN! 
Luckily, the janitor working in the building is… ORVILLE KETCHUM!  The gals recount SHM2 and how Orville may have conquered evil OR been a creepy killer.  Well, they definitely are a looks over heart group that pummel, pound and punish old Orville as they think he is murdering the girls as they start going missing.  NOT KIND!!!
 Who will survive? Who will use the shower next?  Will you expect that love can conquer all?  You HAVE to see it to believe it.  I’m kicking myself that I didn’t do a Orville Double Feature, but when you need HARD TO KILL, nothing else will do.  

 HARD TO DIE is one of the breeziest and most fun sub 80 minute exploitation flicks I can think of, and I’ve got a pretty large amount of them under my belt.  This one takes the target audience (urr..all of you that are still reading) along for the ride with a wink and nod that never feels like it wants to be ironic, but knows that we are all in together for lingerie and machine guns and horror and showers.  Heck, you even get this guy… THE DIRECTOR does not like DIRTY FEET!!!
THIS is a Saturday night in October. Horror and action and a bottle of PUMKING to go with it.  I love Halloween Horrors!!

Prisoner Of Paradise – Holmes is in DEEP Trouble In Paradise!

Prisoner of Paradise is the latest stand alone title from VINEGAR SYNDROME and it’s your chance to discover what would happen if Bob Chinn and Gail Palmer mixed up MIDWAY, HOGAN’S HEROES, ILSA-SHE WOLF OF THE SS and tossed in a seasoning spritzer of WADD to drop the long dong thunder deep down under.  Hey, John Holmes is the ONLY male performer in the movie, so his fans shall be much pleased.  And best of all…yep, we have some rock hard Holmes acting to boot.

Look into my eyes…you are getting hungry…for a giant…hot….soulful kiss

Meet a G.I. named JOE…he is NOT having a good day. After his ship is blown up (and as we find out quickly, his lady was as well in an unfortunate incident that features explosions and action and mucho weeping from John), he washes ashore on a mysterious island.  He is obviously feeling a bit blue, but after a week of surviving, he goes coconut probing and slurping (not a euphemism) and even takes the time to get a shower as nature intended.  Interspersed with all this hot survival action is Joe’s last sexual encounter with his Chinese lady, played by Mai Lynn.  But can Paradise last long after we have conquered survival?  NOPE…but here is a nice moment.

BeeeHOOOOOOLD!!!  

When Joe stumbles upon Ilsa and Greta (Jess Franco senses…tingling) he follows them back to discover a sadistic Nazi outpost where women, American women (why are they here?) are tormented by having Seka go down on them.  Um…well, OK, if you must!  After trying a daring rescue attempt, Joe flubs it up and ends up in the clutches of the Nazi mastermind that has some outrageous accent issues!  And he likes to watch…

Will everyone come out alive?  Will everyone cum?  And will the mute Japanese girl played by Jade Wong have an excellent scene? Yes. Almost. And very much so! 

Actual dialog: “He haz a veapon down here!”
I believe it is what Paul Stanley calls a Love Gun.  Holmes defiant!

Prisoner Of Paradise starts out gangbusters, with a mix of stock footage and action on burning sets as Holmes emotes, screws and stands tall in the face of blowjobs, but it doesn’t go anywhere near the advertised areas (hmm..not so much on the bizarre sex rites of the island)–and honestly, that is fine, because while the screwing bogs down (Holmes really seems to relish his oral opportunities onscreen) the rest of the film is just plain crazy and fun.  I’d wager that Hogan’s Heroes was more offensive nazisploitation, it’s all window dressing.  And as for what is behind the windows, Seka is in top form here, though watch as she has a visceral reaction to the offscreen flogging scenes…she doesn’t seem to impressed.  I mentioned it above, but Mai Linn and Jade Wong have some really good encounters with Johnny Wadd, and you pretty much get all the bases covered for the cine-de-stroke quotient.  While it may be the PURPOSE of this film, the real fun is in the performances and the occasional explosion delivered by 3 Fingers Harry (whom cult icon David DeCoteau informed me was Harry Wollman) spice things up.  Look for one HUGE final blast that I had to believe was stock footage. I guess not! 

The visual quality is very good, up to the standards set by Vinegar Syndrome and also included are a theatrical trailer and a cool reel of promotional pieces for other Caribbean Films promo that runs 6 and a half minutes of “oh I wanna see that” in your face!

Seka. Holmes. Screwing to Ride Of The Valkyries.  Bucket list item, achieved. So what, I’ve got a big bucket, but I enjoyed my 90 minutes of being a Prisoner Of Paradise and so can you!

And…we are outta here!

Cathouse Fever in the Peekarama Round Up

Well, if that doesn’t say 1980s porn to you, I don’t know what will. The piled hair, the come hither stare and that awesome font.  Another entry into Vinegar Syndrome’s PEEKARAMA series (other VS reviews are HERE) unspooled for my delight the other night, and I caught a case of CATHOUSE FEVER!  When it starts with Herschel Savage as a dreamy dream lover I just knew this would be a fun film.  It’s not on my top 10 by a long shot, but there is a lot to like, and some odd stuff gets licked.  So, lets arch our backs, curl our toes and dive in!

Becky Savage stars as a lonely California secretary that sips wine while dreaming of her perfect lover. And you know, when I think of dreamy porn hunks in the 80s, THIS GUY fits the bill!

Herschel Savage pokes, tastes and plunges his way (and it’s a zany mixed up batch of editing here by the way) through her dream scenarios, talking dirty and working her into a literal lather.  But after the wine buzz fades, our girl decides she needs more and more sexual adventure. Real ones.  Picking up her guitar and thinking hard, she makes the choice to become a prostitute and get some…wait for it… CATHOUSE FEVER!  From there, it’s just a series of hijinx as she tries a bit of everything really, we have dildo lessons! We have cowboys and dudes in Giiiiiiiiiiiant sunglasses!  And yes, we even have the occasional lesbian scene where it’s more than muff getting munched. It’s SOAP!! Seriously, this could not have been fun.

The best part of this shot has to be that it made me think of A CHRISTMAS STORY and I kept hearing Ralphie bemoaning that it was the Life Boy soap that caused his brain damage!  Yep, that is what I thought of.  But I can also say that Laverne Shields / Gaylene Marie is just stunning in the movie.  I can’t fake you, my delicate readers…when I think 80s porn I just think of LEG WARMERS and check this out!  DOUBLE LEG WARMERS!!!!  Stiffness Meter Bonus…77 percent!

Oh my god. Seriously. The best thing I’ve seen all week.  Yow!! 

As plot and acting and gesturing goes, CATHOUSE FEVER isn’t much, but the bizarre scenarios and vintage outfits keep things flowing like a vintage can of National Bohemian Beer.  Watch for Becky Savage going “native” and relax to a little bit of spank the way it was after the golden years were almost gone. Given it’s age and time, the movie actually looks shockingly good, no video dropouts here! 
And now…my favorite bit of the film. Totally unrelated, but that guy above, his mouth is taped shut.  Why?

Click the shot. Read the note.  There is a sideplot of all the girls trying to get this guy finished up that just keeps on (trying to) come right up at random times. It’s fun, and well, it has a lot of legwarmers and that warms my heart and keeps me fully engaged!  Engorged. Or something….

You may not rate this as a Top Ten film, or even a Top Ten Peekarama, but you will get plenty of chuckles and you may even want to sing along before all is said and finished and done and done again!  Play us out, Becky…

As always, you can order Vinegar Syndrome titles directly…right here!!

GRADUATION DAY 4K SPLAT via Vinegar Syndrome!

I wish I could tell you that this was a dream come true…GRADUATION DAY ON BLU RAY AT LAST! But I can’t lie to you, gentle and warped reader.  I know I saw this film when it was released (I was a teenager and saw every horror film that I could sneak in to) and never again. The Troma DVD just never caught my eye. I don’t think I could have told you ONE thing about this movie. Well, no more!  Thanks to VINEGAR SYNDROME  this incredibly enjoyable little timepiece of stopwatch slasher mayhem, mixed with some nifty editing, catchy music and one of the most WOAH, DID THAT JUST HAPPEN moments involving a guy walking by a woman through the front door of a house I’ve ever seen.  And DAMMIT, I can not stop singing the endlessly looped GANGSTER ROCK!  But with all the joy of the film, VS has created a really spectacular edition of a film that could have slipped into the budget bins of eternity.  I ended up watching it 3 times through and the extras in record time.  So, lets take a look.  Before we get started, the video quality of this transfer, a 4K restoration, is fantastic, the movie looks great. I’m hardly a tech expert, but the Blu Ray is awesome.  The screens in this review are from the DVD (I’m still banging two rocks together on my PC with no blu drive), so while they look great, they don’t reflect the final product for the HD viewer.  Now lets go hurl some spiked footballs!
Graduation Day starts with a bang, as not only does a star track runner struggle mightily to beat the 30 second stopwatch of her coach while set to the cheers of a roaring crowd.  She HAS TO WIN…right? Well, yeah, but there is a price.  PLOP. DEAD!  NOOOOOOooooo….  Her boyfriend pulls off a slide for the ages to get to her. But you know, when someone dies like this, there is hell to pay, and the students and teachers are about to experience the wrath of what appears to be a renegade poker from the fencing club!  
I’m pretty glad his balls aren’t flinging around as much as the usual Vinegar Syndrome releases!  
As our characters are introduced we get the cool to the point of cold Anne Ramstead (Patch Mackenzie) as she returns home to find out what happened with her sisters death by dashing and for some reason, interact with the teachers and students of the high school and don a giant red herring suit (or is it???) for the viewer.  You have to love her, she wobbles between tough ball crushing military maiden of mayhem and ooky spooky kinda creepy woods popper upper.  And right off the bat, I found what I liked most about Graduation Day.  The narrative of the film just collapses right out of the gate, everything feels like disconnected subplots waiting to be tied up by creative murders until nobody is left standing but the killer and his final prey.  We have the epic “Tie Tucked In Pants” Pataki Played Principal” Guglione and his girl Friday, Blondie …he has a bunch of razors in his desk and questionable apple cutting techniques.  We have the light blue lounge suited Mr. Roberts…the ladies love him and he is putting the less than academic ruler to the lovely Linnea Quigley to boot.  Hmmm…could it be him?  Meh. He is fairly epic though! Or could it be the hyper hard to please coach, a role literally CHOMPED TO PIECES by the legendary Christopher George, who rocks his sweat suit like it was a shark costume as he paces around and makes angry faces galore.  Hmm…maybe.  Or… SO MANY MORE!!  

 Maybe this is what I enjoyed about GRADUATION DAY so much, it has this sort of scattered narrative and scatterbrained fun along the way.  The murder sequences are all inventive and can balance the silly with the slasherific with startling speed, all cut together with some shock cut editing that just ROCKS and doesn’t feel average in any way.  And the music!  It’s like three or four scores pulled together to switch moods and atmospherics for each scene.  But nothing can prepare you for GANGSTER ROCK, a centerpiece that features Rollerskating, Linnea Quigley running, a FEAR t-shirt and a loop..of…a loop..of…a loop…of…THE GANGSTER RaaaaAAAAWwwK!
  
As the movie stutter steps across the finish line, exemplified by Patch Mackenzie running “away” from a killer by seemingly zig zagging across a wide open track and field space, you’ll be ready for the big finale. Now, here is something unique. I had NO IDEA whodunnit!  And woah, yeah…it’s awesome.  I’m a new found GRADUATION DAY convert, this is a great little film that now gets a GREAT BIG TREATMENT and is definitely a definitive edition.  So. Movie? FREAKING GREAT.  Disc…oh, well…you are gonna love this.
There are two commentary tracks, producer and story writer David Baughn is entertaining and informative throughout the running time, led along nicely by Elijah Drenner who REALLY digs the film. It’s enthusiastic and not only fun to listen to about the film being watched, but hearing about film production in the slasher trenches of 1981.  From advanced guarantees to trailer cutting and how important it was, this is definitely a unique view that strips away a bit of the nostalgia we feel as fans.  And speaking of fans, the second commentary is from They Hysteria Continues, which is a fun listen as well, reframing the experience from a more modern fan friendly (bleeding) eyeball.   It’s interesting to hear bits contradict each other, Baughn talks about Linnea Quigley being added in rather quickly as the original actress for her role was dismissed early, while the Hysteria Lives crew wonders aloud about it and tries to piece together how that all came together.  Ah, the mystery of Delores…  
And then there is the trailer, which sells the HELL out of the film, and for a final cherry on top video interviews with the following…(yes, I will just show you rather than type it all out!)
Another fine release from Vinegar Syndrome, it’s a perfect package for the slasher fan that wants to see something a little more off kilter than usual, and go deeper than ever expected into the making of the film.  
Easily in my top 5 VS discs, and that says a LOT!  
For lots more reviews of Vinegar Syndrome’s output…CLICK HERE, but be warned, they are not safe for work!!

JUDY or Boston’s Combat Zone Sexploitation Flick from 1970

“I will say this though, every one of his victims has been an overt man pleaser…”

After a young girl is assaulted during a sketch session in the woods behind her home, her father, Mr. Fairchild, calls in a no shit taking private dick with a big heart, GUNNER SLOAN.  What a great name, and Dave Haller pulls off the only really interesting part of the movie by delivering some great soft boiled lines, such as this wangdoodle as his secretary checks in to see if he needs any release of tension from his tighty whities.  He obviously has a job ahead of him, saving prostitutes from The Combat Zone in Boston circa 1970.  Give the guy some action…

“Mr. Sloane, I didn’t know you needed any help.”
“Well, no man is an island, baby.”

It’s obvious that he needs to earn some cash and solve the crime for the Fairchilds, because those underoos are starting to look as dark as the Batman ones I was probably wearing when this was released! 

But wait, that isn’t what brings us here, I mean while GUNNER SLOAN may be quite awesome, there is actually a fun little potboiler in this flick, and when I say little I really mean it. The sex scenes, and showers as well, feature a bevy of mostly attractive women with sunburns taking time with men, with each other or just a bar of soap.  So, be ready to fish for the good stuff, but it’s all set to a kooky little soundtrack that makes my head alternate between pain and a flashback to eating too much cotton candy outside Boston Garden and wondering if I could get over to those movie theaters down the street that showed movies downstairs and flicks like this UPSTAIRS as a kid! 

Skin and Sunburns…these elements abound in JUDY!
Anyways, as for plot, our man GUNNER SLOAN is in deep with the cops as they try to solve the case, find out where Judy is, and every time the murderer strikes he seems to be right in front of GUNNER SLOAN’s curve of absolutely no logical fashion of solving anything but how to get a few quarters to wash his damn underwear!  BUT… you get some cool moments that feature GUNNER SLOAN slapping his way through the naked underworld like Maurizio Merli drained of mustache power! Such as this!
No, she doesn’t talk…but so it goes.  
And can we forget the romantic subplot with GUNNER SLOAN making promises he can’t keep and the elusive “vacation after I finish this case” part?  Sure it’s by the numbers, and Dave Haller was never in another film, but he reads it just right.  
 JUDY ends on a bit of a head clonker of a solution, but it doesn’t matter, it’s got the prerequisite skin, sin and even some “stylish” attack sequences that involve zoom lens work that makes it seem like Jess Franco with seizures!  It’s breezy, easy and enjoyable with one exception. The opening minutes feature a LOOOOOOOONG lesbian scene that makes lesbian action boring.  Seriously, I didn’t even know that was a thing, but this one…it’s like a tongue fellating scene gone wrong.  Ew.  You can skip that and dive right into the film proper if you ask me, it will leave a better taste in your mouth by avoiding the tastes in the first duos mouths entirely!  
I was really intrigued by this Vinegar Syndrome title in particular for it’s Boston angle.  There just isn’t enough smut shot local that I’m aware of and I really wanted to see a lot. The only thing that jumped out at me was a stalking sequence that may have been on Boston Common, I remember these little chains, but I was TWO when the film was released.  Anyone?

 The producers of this also did THE NIGHT OF THE BLOODY TRANSPLANT which hasn’t hit DVD yet, but a little research has shown that that horror film (now I have to watch it..sigh) has the same score. OH NO! I’ll never get it out of my mind.  It also seems to share some room and bathroom sets…so, there is that.  Oh curiosity, you kill me! 
While far from fantastic, you could do a lot worse than this bit of goofy sexploitation for an hour and change, the print looks great and you can’t forget…GUNNER SLOAN!