When I watched EMMANUELLE THROUGH TIME: SEXY BITE I thought I was watching this entry! Not so…there is even more Vampiric n’ Sapphic Sexy Time for me, and I couldn’t be happier. This one is from the EMMANULLE: THE PRIVATE COLLECTION line released in 2004 and features Natasja Vermeer as Emmanuelle. Right out of the gate I like her, she has a much more “typical” look than say, Allie Haze in the latest sexventures, but that doesn’t work against her at all. She brings a funny take on the role that casts E as sort of an ironic adventurer that has no sexual fears at all. And she doesn’t mind fucking Dracula before killing him! You gotta admire that. While you won’t be able to stop your eyes from wandering all over her, she has some great facial expressions that show she can do comedy as easily as she can soft core masturbate. And that is pretty damn good too.
So what the hell is this about? We join Emmanuelle in a dream / sleepsturbation sequence as she sees a castle, a shaky head vampire transformation and a whole lot of other naughty stuff. She pops awake with a “HUH?” and heads out to see her pals since they are having a bachellorette party for one of the girls she used to be in a coven with (??) while in college. Hey, everyone experiments, right? Same sex hook ups, drugs and witchcraft just screams COLLEGE at me. So, they all have little black dresses on (not for long ladies n’ gents) and discuss vibrators and male strippers who show up. But before that all goes down (badummdumm) a mysterious stranger arrives and settles in. He can hypnotize and mindfuck with a precision that is sharp as a lesbian vampires fangs and provokes one of the ladies into an orgasm that has the most delicate minded of the band of babes wondering if she needs an ambulance! As the women fall under the dark vampires spell they start fulfilling those hidden girl to girl desires, seduce bulky male strippers and turn vaguely gothic. And then Emmanuelle has to save the day…with spoons as her crucifix and her body as a weapon.
“Since we are using kitchenware to battle the undead I’d say YEAH!”
Well played Alain Sirtizky and crew…well played.
After things get completely out of hand (and frankly I bet most viewers have had something or another in hand by this time), Emmanuelle finds out that she hasn’t been battling the big D just yet! And when he shows up, it is time for Fuck Off to save your SOUL!!!
Here…this might help illustrate how good this can be. It’s a massive spoiler, but sort of says it all. Sorry the sound is low, it is the best I have. It sure is tough to be watching these on headphones and hoping nobody walks in on you. Yeesh. More after you gawk at the groove.
Yeah, it’s got a monster mask or two in the film as well.
So, is this as insane as the others I’ve watched? Yes and no. It feels a bit patched together as the vampire talks about how he sneaks inside women and makes them masturbate. Not that I mind tagging along for that, but these scenes feel really tacked on, one being simply a woman on a lawn chair going at it for a 10 minute sequence. I guess I get off on the ambiance as much as the action when it comes to my berserker soft core shenanigans. It’s a small quibble, because the cast is really good at what they do. Vermeer doesn’t get a lot of lines when I think of it, but she does a good job at what she is working with and is absolutely sexy and mixes in a good Euro look with the all American girls that surround her. Most impressive to me was Molinee Green (recently seen in MILF from The Asylum and the unseen to me but sure to be classic GO FUCK MYSELF 6)–she gets the most work out and carries the load with a troopers zeal. Also putting in a good days finger flailing is Beverly Lynne. The rabbit hole of soft core vibrations jumps into overdrive when I look at her filmography. She has a series of cable hotflix called Tanya X that features Randy Spears and Evan Stone as a character named BIG BALLS. Hah, yeah, I want to see that.
So, do I want more Private Collection? YES! Will I blog about them? YES! See you on the other side of the Skinematikal Science Degree I’m working on.
Bonus…Have one more image and if you ever bump into this, watch it and be sure to hydrate. Stay safe trashers!